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a time not so long ago when things werent so fucking psychotic. . .

19 Oct

the one that you are looking for, your not going to find her here

The rain’s return hasn’t come empty handed, you’re on my mind constantly. What do you say to a narcissistic whose given you the boot? Ah, the taking one step forward two steps backwards things becoming a recurring theme. I’m actively forced to make these life altering decisions and instead of manning up I hide in my room, sing my heart out and avoid such thoughts with the reassurance that I’ll figure it out tomorrow. Its my last year of my undergraduate degree, last two days in fact. Zombies I can handle, I’ve had years of rpg training equipping me for that. Monotony nine to five, ergonomic keyboards, labcoats, small talk? During my coffee break before my stats test, as the rain started pouring, I realized I have no clue what I want to do anymore. Well I’m certain of a few things just not how to make money out of them. I want to be in the theatre, have a burlesque club, be a stripper, be a singer, fingerpaint in my loft apartment adorned with sunflowers and rugs, take photos, dance in the rain, plant trees, learn the guitar, be a sex therapist. What I don’t want is responsibility I’ve had too much of it too young, and I fear only more is going to be flung my way. Knowing me I won’t react until it wacks me in the face, irony you sweet bastard. I need a pause button. I have about roughly just under six days to prepare for finals the most life altering test you can take, so much change. I’m moving house not sure where too yet or how I’m getting there. My moms selling up and leaving soon, so off I go into the great abyss to live by my own travelers code. I’ll have a degree soon. I’m not sure how I feel about that. My undergrad years are laced with so many reckless moments I wouldn’t change for the world. Somehow the leniency you get changes when you hit honours or life, either way your screwed. I’m a donut being drowned in the coffee of life, a sexually repressed liz lemon donut which can’t wait for groovies.
If lifes about to hit me head on, I’ll knock it back a round or two, aint nothing wrong with a lil psychedelic drugs.
Round one fight!

Peace, love and empathy. vinyl splinters.

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Posted by on October 19, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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